Greetings,
But back to the story and forgive my digression. The lady went on to explain what occurred with her family as well as herself. She become galvanized, renewed, enlightened the experience maturing her. Her family, however, became what they said she would be-nothing with all the cruel things they had pronounced on her living becoming the mantle they had to bear.
Words, as we all know, have power; yet I do not think we realize to what extent. With good soul-felt intentions infused with your Higher Power's will for the best for somebody, anybody, words can heal. Used the opposite way, it cuts the person who wielded the epitaph of demise. How frequent would insults and aggressive acts of hurt be dispensed if you and I were the immediate recipient of the pain we spewed. Examples: You cut somebody off, you get cut off immediately with pain on top of that; you call somebody a shit and you get treated like shit from someone who you thought loved you; you back stab to get a position, the position then back stabs you in return. Hell, a friend of mine, had a man who tried to lay her down with the guilt of not wanting to "be" with him., a clear manipulation. However, the manner he was manipulated back was all she wanted from him was his help, which if he loved her, something he also professed he would want to assist her in her time of need (Side note: Ain't it funny how some men think they can use the word love like it's a push button, thinking it'll pop women's legs right open-ladies recognize when you're been 'pushed'). Yet the true essence of what this man had to learn was while she remembered the feelings back then she did not remember "being" with him, clearly a forgettable moment for her-that he SWEARS took place. Talk about a kick in one's being.
Now while at times these aforementioned examples happen right away, other times it may take years for universal justice i.e. comeuppance to respond. Either way, this is Karma in modern day terms. So be very careful of who you hurt as well as mindful of things you do wrongly in secret thinking, "No one will know". Fore the very fact that you know means someone does. Because that knowing means the Cosmos knows and whether you realize it or not or accept it or not, we all are connected to the Cosmos like we are all connected to gravity. Karma is the Cosmos's dispenser of universal comeuppance. Karma is fair yet even handed, loving, but stern in its payment and when it pays you a visit it can be a hard one to take it, if you ignore the little signals IT was giving you all along.
Here is where I joined Karma's classroom. Anger. This word, this force, this entity has been the single most destructive element which has completely dominated my life, to the point I almost saw death, and yes, I mean my own. Anger went around turning off the lights in my life where I began again to willingly think of ending it all, as I did when I was 17 years old. Yet then as in now something Higher saved me.
When 17, my mother, knowing I had with me in my bedroom a razor blade, knowing I "meant" what I said when I said I was "Gon' kill myself", my mother left me ALONE and went to pray for me instead Saying to me later, fore her prayers gave me a later, "I knew what you wanted to do, so I asked God to undo what brought my child to this unthinkable act, that would kill me too." I didn't know that at the time, me hurting me would hurt somebody else, my first lesson in what you do affects another, but again I digress.
My brother, Alton Cannon, was successful at turning off the lights in his life. He wanted to turn on a new way of being which now allows me to have him in a manner I could not before. I do not advocate this choice, but it was his choice, which through time and therapy I learned to accept. Yet when I thought to follow my brother, something WOULD NOT let me. While I did not know Her name then I know it now. She is Yemaya, the Goddess of my soul, the ocean, the place I always go when pained. It was to her I cried my devastating sorrow for the two aspects that was created with my brother's transition, the lose of his physical presence as well as that of being a father.
My brother taught me to drive and I was driving insanely one day when I had a horrible accident where my car flipped on it's side to slide in the middle of the freeway. I survived, blessedly no one was hurt and gratefully I was humbled. Although at the time I was unaware of it. I was too mad, enraged, angry which at the time expanded. Because now i.e. then, I had to take the bus, the Metrolink train and walk a half hour to work, a 2 and half hour commute each day for two years. I was also at the time an African with a "K", down for mah people, who need the white man. Well, it was a white man who pulled me out my car to safely carry me to the side of freeway, where I over heard people say, "That even scared me." This was my instruction from Karma. I was on a fast track to hell, not in the biblical sense, but in the real sense, the nonsense, the hell in my soul I could no longer deny, Karma through Yemaya, my link to the Cosmos, would not tolerate it anymore.
Carrying over 40 years of anger had taken a savage toll where my being was destroying my core. Yet STILL I clung to anger because it was all I know or thought I knew. Anger, I reasoned, saved me: it separated me from my family of origin i.e. saved me from being like them; I could show my anger toward them and anyone; anger leveled the playing field where I was not trample on, but now could defend myself to trample over others which I did unmercifully. However, I know now and even felt then that while I disparately tried cleaved to the fragments of my anger, it no longer served me and if I did not let it go, I would cease to be. Dis-ease would manifest, discomfort would prevail, disguise would be the face I'd show the world, blocking the discovery to my Self.
Blessedly, the Ancestors appeared bringing tools of grace, wielding instruments of transformation, which drove anger back where it came. Realization dawned with a book by Deepak Chopra, which saved my life. Strength materialized through exercising. Love, being IN love, culminated and flowed in union with Paul Sinclair. Transformation beckoned in the form of The KRST Unity Center of Afrakan Spiritual Science. Ease came with Robin Downes YogaFlava. Peace from Yemaya became electrified and expanded becoming my center, my foundation on which I stand and evolve. The Ancestors now my spiritual guides directed my eyes, my feet, my hearing as I humble myself before their tacit wisdom, their hand ever on my shoulder. Now the shift, the transformation, is in progress.
Now I know I am meant to win. I am meant to grow. I am meant to have every dream I am can fathom and the vision has expanded because now I KNOW you are too The most dangerous question I asked myself, which scared the living hell out of me, was "What do I really want?". It took a very un-comforting moment which felt like years but actually was a week or two. However, the answers did come, I just had to wait. My lesson in Karma slowed me and is continuing to slow me down, where now I can hear the whispers of Yemaya talking to me in sunsets.
So, my point is this with Karma I became open, willing, to transform. This prompted the shift I mentioned earlier, in my perception where everything around me is now an opportunity to experience life on a heighten level of awareness. Everything, everywhere is bright, vibrant, scintillating. Everything, everywhere, is fun, funny, joyful. Everything, everywhere, is a chance to learn and grow, since failing is no longer something to fear, but something to anticipated with wonder for now it brings me one step closer to my goal. Everything, everywhere is Neter, Yemaya, God, Jesus, Olorun, Buddha, Supreme Being i.e. what ever you call your Higher Power. Fore, as I conclude, quoting from the book Creating Affluence by Dr. Chopra, "The presence of God is everywhere. You have only to consciously embrace it with your attention."
Pay attention to what Karma is telling you and it is ALWAYS telling you something. Fore when you listen to Karma, really listen to the events your life is telling you, you will discover who you are has ALWAYS been waiting for you to uncover your Self, to lead you to get to the purpose of being your Self, which will hone your Self that in turn will expand your vision which will escort you to living your purpose, which heals the world.
And that is the foundational element our Creator wants for us all, to love our Selves so we can do our part to help and heal our world....
Blessings of Peace,
Kioni
On a Facebook post, I responded to an answer someone gave to a larger query. Basically the general question was along these lines, "Ain't it something how folk who don't feel good about themselves run down folk who do." One comment in particular came from a woman recounting what her family told her. It struck my soul still causing me to wrench. They called her a little nigger due to her being "darker" than the rest of them topping it off by lamenting she would never amount to anything. Unfortunately, I could relate to such cruelty having experience verbal savagery from my own family of dysfunction with alcohol being the main ingredient.
I also have to admit, before I continue, I am experiencing a difficulty in writing this piece (peace). Fore while this is not uncommon, in my case, it is distinctive due to the fact I am a storyteller (writer), words to the page my medium. So for me to have discomfort on the page, which is essentially my playground, says a lot to me of how wounded my soul is regarding this matter, which I will elaborate on later.But back to the story and forgive my digression. The lady went on to explain what occurred with her family as well as herself. She become galvanized, renewed, enlightened the experience maturing her. Her family, however, became what they said she would be-nothing with all the cruel things they had pronounced on her living becoming the mantle they had to bear.
Words, as we all know, have power; yet I do not think we realize to what extent. With good soul-felt intentions infused with your Higher Power's will for the best for somebody, anybody, words can heal. Used the opposite way, it cuts the person who wielded the epitaph of demise. How frequent would insults and aggressive acts of hurt be dispensed if you and I were the immediate recipient of the pain we spewed. Examples: You cut somebody off, you get cut off immediately with pain on top of that; you call somebody a shit and you get treated like shit from someone who you thought loved you; you back stab to get a position, the position then back stabs you in return. Hell, a friend of mine, had a man who tried to lay her down with the guilt of not wanting to "be" with him., a clear manipulation. However, the manner he was manipulated back was all she wanted from him was his help, which if he loved her, something he also professed he would want to assist her in her time of need (Side note: Ain't it funny how some men think they can use the word love like it's a push button, thinking it'll pop women's legs right open-ladies recognize when you're been 'pushed'). Yet the true essence of what this man had to learn was while she remembered the feelings back then she did not remember "being" with him, clearly a forgettable moment for her-that he SWEARS took place. Talk about a kick in one's being.
Now while at times these aforementioned examples happen right away, other times it may take years for universal justice i.e. comeuppance to respond. Either way, this is Karma in modern day terms. So be very careful of who you hurt as well as mindful of things you do wrongly in secret thinking, "No one will know". Fore the very fact that you know means someone does. Because that knowing means the Cosmos knows and whether you realize it or not or accept it or not, we all are connected to the Cosmos like we are all connected to gravity. Karma is the Cosmos's dispenser of universal comeuppance. Karma is fair yet even handed, loving, but stern in its payment and when it pays you a visit it can be a hard one to take it, if you ignore the little signals IT was giving you all along.
Here is where I joined Karma's classroom. Anger. This word, this force, this entity has been the single most destructive element which has completely dominated my life, to the point I almost saw death, and yes, I mean my own. Anger went around turning off the lights in my life where I began again to willingly think of ending it all, as I did when I was 17 years old. Yet then as in now something Higher saved me.
When 17, my mother, knowing I had with me in my bedroom a razor blade, knowing I "meant" what I said when I said I was "Gon' kill myself", my mother left me ALONE and went to pray for me instead Saying to me later, fore her prayers gave me a later, "I knew what you wanted to do, so I asked God to undo what brought my child to this unthinkable act, that would kill me too." I didn't know that at the time, me hurting me would hurt somebody else, my first lesson in what you do affects another, but again I digress.
My brother, Alton Cannon, was successful at turning off the lights in his life. He wanted to turn on a new way of being which now allows me to have him in a manner I could not before. I do not advocate this choice, but it was his choice, which through time and therapy I learned to accept. Yet when I thought to follow my brother, something WOULD NOT let me. While I did not know Her name then I know it now. She is Yemaya, the Goddess of my soul, the ocean, the place I always go when pained. It was to her I cried my devastating sorrow for the two aspects that was created with my brother's transition, the lose of his physical presence as well as that of being a father.
My brother taught me to drive and I was driving insanely one day when I had a horrible accident where my car flipped on it's side to slide in the middle of the freeway. I survived, blessedly no one was hurt and gratefully I was humbled. Although at the time I was unaware of it. I was too mad, enraged, angry which at the time expanded. Because now i.e. then, I had to take the bus, the Metrolink train and walk a half hour to work, a 2 and half hour commute each day for two years. I was also at the time an African with a "K", down for mah people, who need the white man. Well, it was a white man who pulled me out my car to safely carry me to the side of freeway, where I over heard people say, "That even scared me." This was my instruction from Karma. I was on a fast track to hell, not in the biblical sense, but in the real sense, the nonsense, the hell in my soul I could no longer deny, Karma through Yemaya, my link to the Cosmos, would not tolerate it anymore.
Carrying over 40 years of anger had taken a savage toll where my being was destroying my core. Yet STILL I clung to anger because it was all I know or thought I knew. Anger, I reasoned, saved me: it separated me from my family of origin i.e. saved me from being like them; I could show my anger toward them and anyone; anger leveled the playing field where I was not trample on, but now could defend myself to trample over others which I did unmercifully. However, I know now and even felt then that while I disparately tried cleaved to the fragments of my anger, it no longer served me and if I did not let it go, I would cease to be. Dis-ease would manifest, discomfort would prevail, disguise would be the face I'd show the world, blocking the discovery to my Self.
Blessedly, the Ancestors appeared bringing tools of grace, wielding instruments of transformation, which drove anger back where it came. Realization dawned with a book by Deepak Chopra, which saved my life. Strength materialized through exercising. Love, being IN love, culminated and flowed in union with Paul Sinclair. Transformation beckoned in the form of The KRST Unity Center of Afrakan Spiritual Science. Ease came with Robin Downes YogaFlava. Peace from Yemaya became electrified and expanded becoming my center, my foundation on which I stand and evolve. The Ancestors now my spiritual guides directed my eyes, my feet, my hearing as I humble myself before their tacit wisdom, their hand ever on my shoulder. Now the shift, the transformation, is in progress.
Now I know I am meant to win. I am meant to grow. I am meant to have every dream I am can fathom and the vision has expanded because now I KNOW you are too The most dangerous question I asked myself, which scared the living hell out of me, was "What do I really want?". It took a very un-comforting moment which felt like years but actually was a week or two. However, the answers did come, I just had to wait. My lesson in Karma slowed me and is continuing to slow me down, where now I can hear the whispers of Yemaya talking to me in sunsets.
So, my point is this with Karma I became open, willing, to transform. This prompted the shift I mentioned earlier, in my perception where everything around me is now an opportunity to experience life on a heighten level of awareness. Everything, everywhere is bright, vibrant, scintillating. Everything, everywhere, is fun, funny, joyful. Everything, everywhere, is a chance to learn and grow, since failing is no longer something to fear, but something to anticipated with wonder for now it brings me one step closer to my goal. Everything, everywhere is Neter, Yemaya, God, Jesus, Olorun, Buddha, Supreme Being i.e. what ever you call your Higher Power. Fore, as I conclude, quoting from the book Creating Affluence by Dr. Chopra, "The presence of God is everywhere. You have only to consciously embrace it with your attention."
Pay attention to what Karma is telling you and it is ALWAYS telling you something. Fore when you listen to Karma, really listen to the events your life is telling you, you will discover who you are has ALWAYS been waiting for you to uncover your Self, to lead you to get to the purpose of being your Self, which will hone your Self that in turn will expand your vision which will escort you to living your purpose, which heals the world.
And that is the foundational element our Creator wants for us all, to love our Selves so we can do our part to help and heal our world....
Blessings of Peace,
Kioni
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