The following comment was a response from Penwah Phynjuar, on the left to Adrienne Ross, whose hugging her on the right, pertaining to something Ms. Ross posted on her Face Book page. The duo were on a panel for a live telecast of Sistah Talk , a local cable show based in New York, on December 11th 2010. For parents with children under the age of 18, you may want to sensor them reading this retort as there is some profanity involved. Here is Ms. Phynjuar response: "Nothing is worse than a fake azz trick azz Hoe YOU HAD MORE THAN OPEN OPPORTUNITY TO SAY WHATEVER YOU WANTED TO ME IN MY FACE BUT YOU WANT TO STEP TO ME ON FACE BOOK BITCH PLEASE WHO GOIN CHECK ME BOO? DONT WRITE YOURSELF A FACE BOOK CHECK YOUR ASS CANT CASH!" Lawd hav' mercy! I haven't heard such talk since.....yesterday. This retort is a superb example of "Kickin' azz and takin' names" and I ain't gon' lie, I laughed my azz off, (Thank you Ms. Phynjuar for the new ass spelling-I love it!). At any rate, something obviously happened between the pair and Ms. Phynjuar was not having it in any shape, form or fashion. Unfortunately I didn't have an opportunity to catch the original airing of this face-off, but Good-God-Almighty, you better believe I'm gonna watch the re-broadcast-I've got too! A little back ground information I obtained about the pair I found on the Sistah Talk Face Book page. Turns out Ms. Phynjuar is an Obama supporter with Ms. Ross being a Palin supporter, both obviously passionate over the individuals they are advocating.
A myriad of things rushed through my mind concerning Ms. Phynjuar cyber ire. For one I found it amazing how each of the supporters clothing reflected who they were advocating. For example, even before I read the caption on the Sister Talk Face Book post, I knew Ms. Ross was supporting Sarah Palin as I knew Ms. Phynjuar supported Obama. I also found it intriguing an African-American woman was supporting Sarah Palin, which confuses me just as Michael Steele heading the Republican party. Yet the final things I truly marveled over were these two facts. One, Ms. Phynjuar showed a behind the scenes moment in how Black folks really talk when we get PISSED and for black women this is demonstrated with us removing our earrings (Translation: some SERIOUS ass kickin'' about to jump off-NOW). Two, Ms. Ross committed a interpersonal cardinal sin that being, amongst Black people, YOU NEVER, EVER DISS SOMEBODY IN PUBLIC-PERIOD! Ms. Ross' behavior did not allow nor give Ms. Phynjuar the custody, thus respect, to discuss this matter in an amiable fashion to maintain Ms Phynjuar honor-a BIG no-no.
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| Door of No Return |
African-Americans have been disrespected since we were captured to be brought to this country-actually we were here first but that's another story. Point is, respect is HUGE with Black people. Our dignity is on the line, our character in question. For us, our face was the only thing we could save with all the injustices we were forced to suffer and continue to endure. Remember Africans were beating in PUBLIC to reinforce humiliation and domination to ingrain the idea of inferiority in our collective psyches. Our face is the first thing everyone sees and one of the assets we cherish most as our face is our mantel of pride that forces have tried to used against us in one form or another though out our tenure in America. So to lose face i.e. be fronted off-huh--no way, that's what Ms. Ross just learned. Moreover, tacitly expressed within Ms. Phynjuar response was the desire to be heard, the "Trick azz" quote delineating the rage shown because she did not receive it.
Character is the courage to face the person one is in disagreement with regarding a particular matter. This is the foundational principal America's judicial system is based. Yet the other principal interwoven amid America's garment is politics. However, this new thread which encompasses the "tactic" of attack and hide, ( the bench mark of smear campaigns seen during elections) is what Ms. Ross' behavior demonstrated to me. I have seen this thread of behavior everywhere here lately and it basically consist of this: Say one thing here, then when you returned to your safe environment amongst your fellow supporter you attack and "hide" over there with them as they protect you so there is no fear of reprisal. I would not be surprised if Ms. Ross is not sitting back confidently assured she behaved appropriately by not HONESTLY expressing her true opinions; she knew where to comment fore to do so on the Sistah Talk would have incited a response and rightly so given it was an open panel discussion. Yet, this new political thread does not operate from a stand point of openness nor face to face interactions and that is what Ms. Phynjuar learned on the front lines, this being her baptism by fire. Regrettably, this attack and hide approach is the prevalent norm countless people have been burned by, some quite severely-but they survived, that's the good news. So let me say Ms. Phynjuar, I completely empathize with your plight. I, too, when angered have exploded unleashing my horrible temper to cuss up a tyraid to make a sailor blush. However a word from the rage-o-holic peanut gallery, dismantle this button to your anger fore it could be your demise. Instead channel your impassioned energy toward beneficial means for the person you are representing. Obama's platform was creating inroads to diplomacy. His roots, as you know, are based in community organizing working with various factions to reach a common goal. He achieved those ends, some successful some not, by becoming educated about his opponents as well as the views they possessed; this I gleamed from reading his autobiography, Dreams from my Father. This is the American he is standing for, the promises of what we can be in spite of ourselves. In the movie The American President , Michael Douglass portraying the Commander in Chief, there's a scene he gives a speech where he explains the tenets of what it is to be an American. This pivotal moment always gives me chills as it encapsulates the true nature of what democracy should mean.
Character is the courage to face the person one is in disagreement with regarding a particular matter. This is the foundational principal America's judicial system is based. Yet the other principal interwoven amid America's garment is politics. However, this new thread which encompasses the "tactic" of attack and hide, ( the bench mark of smear campaigns seen during elections) is what Ms. Ross' behavior demonstrated to me. I have seen this thread of behavior everywhere here lately and it basically consist of this: Say one thing here, then when you returned to your safe environment amongst your fellow supporter you attack and "hide" over there with them as they protect you so there is no fear of reprisal. I would not be surprised if Ms. Ross is not sitting back confidently assured she behaved appropriately by not HONESTLY expressing her true opinions; she knew where to comment fore to do so on the Sistah Talk would have incited a response and rightly so given it was an open panel discussion. Yet, this new political thread does not operate from a stand point of openness nor face to face interactions and that is what Ms. Phynjuar learned on the front lines, this being her baptism by fire. Regrettably, this attack and hide approach is the prevalent norm countless people have been burned by, some quite severely-but they survived, that's the good news. So let me say Ms. Phynjuar, I completely empathize with your plight. I, too, when angered have exploded unleashing my horrible temper to cuss up a tyraid to make a sailor blush. However a word from the rage-o-holic peanut gallery, dismantle this button to your anger fore it could be your demise. Instead channel your impassioned energy toward beneficial means for the person you are representing. Obama's platform was creating inroads to diplomacy. His roots, as you know, are based in community organizing working with various factions to reach a common goal. He achieved those ends, some successful some not, by becoming educated about his opponents as well as the views they possessed; this I gleamed from reading his autobiography, Dreams from my Father. This is the American he is standing for, the promises of what we can be in spite of ourselves. In the movie The American President , Michael Douglass portraying the Commander in Chief, there's a scene he gives a speech where he explains the tenets of what it is to be an American. This pivotal moment always gives me chills as it encapsulates the true nature of what democracy should mean.
Here's my take on on the Ex-Governor of Alaska. Sarah Palin is extremely popular and a fool, I'm sorry, I meant to say folksy. Folksy can see Russia from her house. Folksy has to be "prepared" what to say. Folksy has a teenage daughter who also has a child-out of wedlock. Folksy did not even complete her term as governor and likes killing defensively animals. Folksy has an eye problem, which commences with her winks when she think she's saying something important. Folksy got a reality show. Folksy is getting paid mega money to talk Folksy. How about how Folksy handled that Katie Curic interview-what's real interesting is has there been another one? Folksy would be obliterated in a debate with our president. Obama has an education that could put Folksy down with one word. Now you know who I blame for Folksy-John McCain. This man was smart enough to realize Folksy was an avail around his neck, so he cut her off- QUICKLY!!! Now what's going to get rid of Folksy? The same thing that got rid of Dan Quail, remember he was the great speller of potatoes or I should say misspelling of the spud. Yet the real question, where is Dan Quail now? I say ask Sarah Palin because after a few more instances of "unprepared" moments, she' is going first class with a couple of those animals she killed drivin' her there. Hey! There's her movie break, "Dead Animals Drivin' Miss Palin." I'm crossin' my fingers the studios will green light that one.
So given what I know about Sarah Palin and this is the lite weigh stuff I'm sharing (side note and on a serious one, I find her to be an extremely dangerous individual whose popularity in the wrong hands could have the potential to greatly misdirect the masses from the real issues at hand) had I been on the panel with Ms. Ross I would have been laughing-hysterically. Fore here was this intelligent African-American woman, Ms Ross, who has brought lock-stock-and-barrel into the jargon a.k.a. party line of Folksy. Folksy usually don't like Black people, but Ms. Ross will be made aware of that in due time.
The power to dismantle Folksy is to recognize its various forms (George Bush Jr. is Folksy) as well as to not enhance its power by giving it your energy and more importantly your attention. Folksy breeds and expands from negative vibrations which increases its popularity due to the attention it receives. So to offset Folksy influence, I stopped giving it air time in my head by channeling that energy to fortified myself instead. This is how my emotional integrity within my demeanor was formed. Now, when I am wrong I readily admit it; I never say anything behind someone's back I am not willing to say to his or her face; I listen more than I speak; and most importantly I stop allowing my emotions to drive me. People are people and are going to have their opinions regardless what I think. This is the aforementioned promise the idea of America holds and becomes a reality when we practice the vitures expressed in the movie The American President. What I have and continue to learn is just because I do not agree with someone else's views does not give me the "right" to got off on them. This is different than talking about someone behind their back then turn around to grin in their faces-that's two faced, which is another facet of Folksy and something I would not EVER do.
While I think it would be respectful for Ms. Ross to apologize, I know she won't, Folksy never thinks they do anything wrong. Ms. Phynjuar, on the other hand, would be wise to let it go. That expressed rage also implied she is not above reaching out to "touch" Ms. Ross if need be. However that would be as the brotha's say, to "Catch you a case", landing Ms. Phynjuar in the Gray Bar Hotel a.k.a. jail. As for me when I find myself wanting to kick some a_s, I do like the ducks in the picture and hanging out on Yemaya as well as talk to people who uplift and support me-a gesture that grounds as well as centers me. So when I do find myself having to deal with Folksy, which I contend with in one form or another at work everyday, I smile and say, "This was fun and I appreciate what you said", all the while thinking the first two letters of fun are, "F" "U". Bottom line, by holding my tongue I demonstrate not only my emotional integrity, but also show respect for myself as well as for the person I am in conflict with. That's when the real conversation and healing can begin because I choose by listening to honor what the other person had to convey.
While I think it would be respectful for Ms. Ross to apologize, I know she won't, Folksy never thinks they do anything wrong. Ms. Phynjuar, on the other hand, would be wise to let it go. That expressed rage also implied she is not above reaching out to "touch" Ms. Ross if need be. However that would be as the brotha's say, to "Catch you a case", landing Ms. Phynjuar in the Gray Bar Hotel a.k.a. jail. As for me when I find myself wanting to kick some a_s, I do like the ducks in the picture and hanging out on Yemaya as well as talk to people who uplift and support me-a gesture that grounds as well as centers me. So when I do find myself having to deal with Folksy, which I contend with in one form or another at work everyday, I smile and say, "This was fun and I appreciate what you said", all the while thinking the first two letters of fun are, "F" "U". Bottom line, by holding my tongue I demonstrate not only my emotional integrity, but also show respect for myself as well as for the person I am in conflict with. That's when the real conversation and healing can begin because I choose by listening to honor what the other person had to convey.
Ms. Phynjuar and Ms. Ross this is a monumental opportunity for each of you to grow and enhance each other's lives, I will pray to Yemaya that can be so.
Blessings of Peace,
Kioni
I didn't read your full piece, as I realized immediately you had not seen the show--quite obvious even from the very beginning of your article. I was nothing but respectful during the show, this in spite of how I was treated. I'll leave it at that, as the video will speak for itself.
ReplyDeleteThe so-called "stepping to" someone was simply my posting on Facebook that I entered the lion's den and encountered someone with obvious hatred for Governor Palin. Period. As a writer, I posted that I would follow up the event with the video and pics when they became available.
And just in the interest of facts, not blogosphere hype, multiple people came up to me after the show--yes, Black people who, despite their political leanings, thanked and commended me for being so respectful and professional when obviously I was not treated that way at all. I can handle it, though. I really didn't go there to make someone like me, and people are entitled to act any way they want off or on live TV. That's their choice, although, as a Christian, I would rather behave in such a manner as to honor God.
Word to the wise: get the facts first. I look forward to your follow-up article about how wrong your uninformed assessment was.
By the way, I came to this site because I received word of your article from an anti-Palin, pro-President Obama Democrat (yes, that's right) who was there and found your write-up laughable in light of the truth. I have such respect for people who stand for truth no matter which side of the aisle they sit on. Don't you?
Greetings Ms. Ross,
ReplyDeleteThank your comment, I deeply appreciate it, I found it very enlightening which I will respond to in just a moment. However, I would like to address the last thing you said first. I am not sure why you choose to include this third party's response, but truth is and I know you are aware of this, everyone is entitled to his or her opinion; so given that I pray the person had a great laugh-I love to laugh, it is healing for the soul. Also it would have been a pleasure to hear directly from the third party, I'm sure by now he or she must have finished laughing, instead of him/her having you speak on his/her behalf-you doing this was a very kind gesture, thank you. So from me to you, please rely to the third party, Merry Christmas and Happy Kwanzaa!
Now to address what you said directly. Being that you're a Christian, I know you intimately understand the significance of the whole truth and not segments of it. So, as I am going to view the re-broadcast, I extend to you the opportunity to finish my article. That way, we will both be on same, leveled, playing field and you will benefit from the fullness of my response in my follow up piece (I'm honored you are going to read it and maybe the third party). Also where exactly on Facebook did you post your comment about Penwah? Unfortunately that information was not included in your commentary-I would love to read it.
Finally, and this based solely on what you shared, it is commendable you stood your ground amid such adversity, even gathering support evidenced by people coming up to you afterward- I applaud you, that's wonderful. Now with that said, Sarah Palin is a lighting rod and standing next her means you are going to get struck. My suggestion to you, know your audience and if you choose to attend a function that is not favorable toward the ex-governor of Alaska, do not attend or should you choose to attend do not complain about how you are received. Instead prepare for the electricity Sarah Palin generates which, given the lion's den analogy you cited, can be a bit much. So, in light of this, I will give you the benefit of the doubt that you were "surprised" at what you experienced on the show; because the lion's den comment also infers you felt under attack. If that was the case i.e. you were surprised/felt under attack, the lesson then for you is, know better so next time you will be aware of the environment you choose to enter. I think that will help immensely, don't you?
I know my audience very well, and I'm neither intimidated nor surprised, but I am vocal. You call it complaining. I call it communicating. Bottom line: I will write and express my experiences with freedom. And just so you know, I did come back and read your full piece last night, and my opinion remains the same.
ReplyDeleteI mentioned the third party because she actually was there. You, on the other hand, was excited by the hype. That, combined with whatever issues you have with Governor Palin, caused you to jump on this. My comments on FB are not hidden. I'm there. Feel free to take a look. We have probably taken this conversation as far as we can until you know what took place.
Getting back to Governor Palin, I proudly and humbly stand with her because I do know her to be a God-fearing, patriotic, common sense conservative. She stands up for life, Constitutional freedoms, fiscal responsibility, lower taxes, and national security. Her commitment to the private sector, the pro-life movement, and government getting its hands off more and more of our money, is exactly what the country--and we Black people in particular--need to prosper and grow. So trust me, I know who I stand with and why, and I will make that stand no matter the audience. People who disagree with where I stand and can't handle criticism directed at the President might want to consider that growing numbers of Americans are feeling the same way. Exhibit A: the November mid-term elections.
Take care.
I want to tailor my response to correlate with each of your paragraphs (Note: I saw the airing of Sistah Talk).
ReplyDeleteParagraph 1. To use your words, "Bottom line" stating you walked into the "lion's den" is a characterization which conjures images of being attacked. Thus stating "I know my audience very well" which I took to mean, I'm educated about them makes the "lion's den" comment even more confusing. Your audience is your audience knowing them liberates you have from having to label them anything other than that. Communication was the goal of the broadcast, complaining is calling it a "lion's den". Also I want to apologize if you thought I was questioning and/or attacking your first amendment rights, let me be clear I was not. It is due to our freedom of speech which provided a platform for you to be a guest on the show and for us to have this written exchange-so "I will write and express my experiences with freedom" is not at issue here. Last point and most importantly, thank you for reading the entire piece, I truly appreciate that. Now my intention in requesting that was for you to be informed my about my opinion, not to alter yours; just as me watching the show has educated me about your position. Fore, as I know you are fully aware, not every discussion's goal is to change someone's position as it is just to hear a different point of view-that's the engaging part of conversation. Besides you also know as well as I, we do not have the power to change anyone's mind unless that person desires too-otherwise it is impossible and pointless. For me, it is the variety that's the exhilaration of life! Homogeny is un-educational; I cannot learn nor grow from that no one can or does. That is why I am throughly enjoying this written exchange-it's enlightening!!!
Paragraph 2: Let me share, like you, I too knew people who were at the show. However, I chose not to bring them into this dialog between you and me because it is between you and me. So I am asking for you to please refrain from editorializing for me as you are for her (third party) by telling me what I believe as well my motivation to "jump on this". I LOVE questions and if one of them is asking why I "jumped" on this, just pose a question and I'll be more than happy to comply by answering.
"My comments on FB are not hidden" Excellent! Where are they? Are they under your personal FB page or Motivation.com??? Naturally, I am going to do my own research. However, given you are the comment's originator, I thought going to you first would be appropriate. That is why I asked, this is me paraphrasing, "Where exactly on FB are your comment's located?" So please, if you feel so inclined, let me know.
Paragraph 3: There is confusion as to why you are referring to Sarah Palin as governor and not Ex-Governor as she has resigned that post. If anything, she is more of a celebrity now speaking about politics, than a practicing politician holding an office at this point-so this I don't understand. As for everything else you cited regarding Sarah Palin, I will address in my blog.
Finally, having had the benefit of seeing the show a few times, I saw no evidence of the "lion's den" you referred too. What I viewed was you being treated very graciously by the other women. If anything it just got "heated" as discussions like that tend to do. Otherwise, I found the entire panel, including yourself, to be extremely intelligent as well as very eloquent in expressing your various positions. I was truly sensational television!!! A highly enjoyable show to watch!
So until my blog, I'll leave it there.
Blessings of Peace and warm holiday wishes during this season,
Kioni
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ReplyDeleteSo, you went off on Ms. Ross without even having watched the show or read her facebook posts? I've done both, and Ms. Ross said absolutely nothing that warranted your rant or the one from Ms. Phynjuar. Ms. Phynjuar, on the other hand, was incredibly rude and disrespectful to Ms. Ross, both in her comment and on the show. What shameful behavior from sisters!
ReplyDeleteAnna quite a response, I appreciate it. Also forgive me for not answering sooner. What can I say it's, "Christmas time in the city" a verse from the song "Silver Bells". Now that aside, I have read your response several times, as I always do because for me understanding is paramount for healthy response and discourse (be it written or verbal). So due to that, I feel to address your comment fully I will respond to each of the four sentences you penned.
ReplyDeleteSentence 1: So, you went off on Ms. Ross without even having watched the show or read her facebook posts?
I did see the show, which I stated in my responses to Ms. Ross in my comments above. I am also reading Ms. Ross's blogs as well as her Facebook page for the research I am doing for my upcoming blog.
Sentence Two: I've done both, and Ms. Ross said absolutely nothing that warranted your rant or the one from Ms. Phynjuar.
I looked up the word rant for my own edification. Rant means: to speak or declaim extravagantly or violently talk in a wild or vehement way; rave. Did I really do that? Dennis Miller was the first person who brought that word into my knowing in any real fashion. I simply expressed how I felt, just as you are doing with me in your comment. Also the phraseology of this sentence sets up the paradigm that Ms. Ross was a victim; she wasn't. She was a guest on a show that got heated due to the content of the subject matter. Everything Ms. Ross did "warranted" a response. She said she knew her audience which again she stated above in our commentary with each other. Please, if you feel so inclined, read it. Ms. Ross is a very intelligent woman; she knew what was going to happen, how could she not. Finally to address the latter part of your sentence regarding Ms. Phynjuar, while I cannot speak for her, I am going to go out on a limb having seen the show to say, she will disagree with you that what she expressed was unwarranted. But asking her directly is your best bet to learn of her intentions.
Sentence Three: Ms. Phynjuar, on the other hand, was incredibly rude and disrespectful to Ms. Ross, both in her comment and on the show.
This is your subjected opinion of the show, duly noted. My upcoming blog will express the other opinions I have formulated since the viewing.
Sentence three: What shameful behavior from sisters!
The tacit feelings I got from viewing that airing of Sistah Talk on December 11th, which they posted on their Facebook page, "http://www.facebook.com/SistahTalkTVshow/posts/183932628290124?notif_t=like, was, we will agree to disagree, there is nothing shameful in that; that's life or in this case viewing life on life's terms.
Sentence extra: So, you went off on Ms. Ross...
Let me take a moment to say what I even had to explain to Ms. Ross. Please refrain from editorializing for me. Ms. Ross tried to insinuate what reasons caused me to "jump on this" and now you with "so you went off on Ms. Ross" Neither is the case. Ask me my intentions and I will certainly and gladly relay them to you, without hesitation, for I LOVE questions.
With that I will close and wish you a wonderful Holiday season.
Blessings of Peace,
Kioni